It is OK to be mad. It is OK to be sad. These all are part of it.
The darn thing is back, or rather it has always been there, it is grown big enough to be back in my life.
I have to have a surgery again. It is not even 10 years.
I can't stop thinking about the "what if"s.
Having Aryanna has made me much more scared for my life. Last time, I wasn't really that scared of the surgery itself. This time I am, very much!
I know I will get over myself and I will deal with it. For now, I am ok. I am reasonable, optimistic one minute and crying, mad, very mad and not all that strong another minute.
It is a process, I will get there. I just think, it is ok to be mad. I can't be mad at myself for being angry. It is OK to be angry. It is OK.
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