Friday, July 2, 2010

I am on my own


YOU hurt ME in a very very bad way. You made me go through such horrible pain. But everyone talks to you about YOU and of course doesn't talk about how you hurt me.

I talk to you about YOU. Your sisters talk to you about YOU. Everyone is worried about YOU. I am worried about YOU. Everyone is trying to help YOU.

Meanwhile that me you hurt so bad is lonely. I feel not only hurt but lonely.

Things seem to be better now, YOU seem to be better now. I am slowly and painfully recovering from the pain you caused.

Now, I have a big hole in me. I know for a fact now that I am alone. Good or bad, I am alone. Beginning a relationship again with that feeling is strange but it is real. I feel hurt, lonely and REAL.

I now know who is on my side. I am on YOUR side. I always have been. YOU are not. To me YOU are not on my side anymore. Neither is your family. It is a harsh thing to say but another thing I learned painfully in the past week is that no one cared to ask even how I felt through all this. That too hurt!

I feel better now. I feel stronger. I feel less pressured to be nice, to be socially responsible. So much have I changed in one week, I am amazed.

I am on my own even beside you. I know that now and that actually doesn't make me sad!

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